On February 13
th Gavin woke up around five and was really restless. Colby and I were waiting to see if he would go back to sleep and I realized that it might take awhile so I got up to use the restroom and decided that I should take a pregnancy test because I was in the range that I should be able to tell. The test instantly came back positive. Colby and I were so excited that baby #2 was on it's way that we could get back to sleep. When I we officially got up I took another one just in case and got the same results. We went to the Dr and got an
hCG blood test that same day and it was official. Gavin was going to be a big brother!! I was 4 1/2 weeks along so we took a picture to show the evidence of how big I got so quickly.
The Announcements:
Almost all of Colby's family was down for President's Day weekend so we told them all then. I wanted to do something creative, but Colby just wanted to pop it into a conversation so that's what we did. Everyone was excited for us. We had to wait three weeks to tell my family because my dad was training for work in Oklahoma. It was extremely hard to hide my growing baby bump and my pregnancy symptoms for that long, but we made it. On March 4
th we stopped by the hospital and had a co-worker take a quick peek at our baby. She printed off an ultrasound and we put Gavin in his "I'm the BIG brother" shirt and headed over to Sunday dinner with my family. I gave Gavin the ultrasound and held him up so everyone could see his shirt. My family went crazy.
Janny started to cry and my Dad was leaping over chairs to get at Gavin to give him a hug. It was so much fun to see their reactions and to hear how excited they were for us. Connor and Alexis were asking questions and giving me hugs like crazy. It was a fun night to say the least!
Dr's Appointment and Miscarriage News:
The next day, on March 5
th, we had our first official Dr's appointment. I did the usual pee in the cup and take your vitals routine and we were sent back to the ultrasound room. That was different than with Gavin but we didn't think much about it. Dr.
Benham came in and we talked for a minute and he asked how far along we thought we were. By our calculations we should have been around 7-8 weeks. As he was doing the abdominal ultrasound he said he thought the baby was only measuring 6-6 1/2 weeks and he couldn't quite see things well so he switched over and did a
transvaginal ultrasound. That's when we knew for sure something wasn't right. He couldn't see a heartbeat. My heart sank and I lost control of my emotions. He told us that all that we could do was schedule a D&C and move on and that nothing that he could say would make anything better. He was very great in dealing with us and we really appreciate him and his bedside manner. He made a hard situation just a little more bearable. After he left and we were waiting for a nurse to come with more information we both broke down. I haven't seen Colby so upset in our entire marriage. We were both overcome with shock, sadness and every other emotion you can think of. We kept thinking, is this really happening to us? After we left we cried all the way home, but after we talked to our Mom's I think we both realized we were going to make it through this situation and came to grips with what was going on.
Once we calmed down we realized that we had been preparing unconsciously for this type of a situation to occur. I brought up the subject a few times about miscarriages and we talked about whether we thought the spirit didn't like the body and would come down again or if the spirit only needed to have the body for a short time to complete it's earthly mission. We both agreed with the latter and I'm so glad that we had talked about it beforehand because I know that I have a little girl (I'm almost positive of it) up there waiting for us while she does what she needs to be doing. I'm so extremely grateful for a knowledge and testimony of the Plan of Salvation that has brought so much peace into our lives. It has made this situation so much easier to deal with. Our families and friends have been amazing as well. We couldn't have made it to where we are today without them!
The night before my surgery Kylie stayed over because we had to be at the hospital at 5:45am to get ready for my Suction D&C. We stayed up late talking and then went to bed... well I tried to anyway. I was really nervous that my body was going to abort the baby during the night. I woke up once with some pretty hard pains and started to get really nervous. Luckily we made it to the morning.
One March 7th Dr. Benham performed the procedure. He told Colby as I was in recovery that my body had a lot of old blood building up and it was on the border of aborting. He said we got in at the right time. It was good that my body held off because my recovery from surgery has been amazing. I have had almost no pain and minimal bleeding. Had I not done the surgery I would have had a lot more pain and more bleeding than if I had just had a baby.
I know this sounds crazy to say but I think we have been so blessed in this situation. Had I been further along I would have had a harder time with surgery or would have had to deliver. We were lucky enough that Kylie had work off on Wednesday so she could stay with Gavin when we were gone. I have recovered very well. We are at peace with what has happened. I know that trials make us stronger and I'm so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who is always there for us. I know that our plan is to follow His plan, now matter how little it might make sense at the time. It's all about the bigger picture. I'm very excited to see what that is going to be for our family!
